Self-Care

Self-care has been defined by every source you can imagine but my favorite definition that I’ve compiled from these is:

The conscious act that a person makes to take care of oneself with behavior that promotes physical, mental and emotional health

This means that self-care is all-encompassing. It doesn’t just mean exercise, or spa days, or zen yoga, it includes drinking plenty of water, it includes going to bed at the right time for your body to be well-rested, it means placing your whole self — mind and body — as your priority.

As blogger Lilly Shah points out in this hilariously on-point Instagram video, self-care needs to stop being used as an excuse for not showing up. It’s okay if you don’t have the energy to do something, and sometimes, bailing is self-care, but know yourself and learn to recognize the difference. Know when you need that break, learn when you need to step away and find places to do so appropriately, but also don’t let yourself fall into the trap of always thinking that it’s okay to bail in the guise of self-care, it cheapens the things that you actually do for yourself.

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A post shared by Lilly Singh (@lilly)

I also want to acknowledge some of the myths that come with thinking of self-care:

💭Thought – I can’t practice self-care, I’m on a budge and spa days are so expensive! 🧞‍♀️MYTH! That’s great that you’re on a budget! Not getting into debt or actively working yourself out of it will help reduce stress levels and life strain, that IS self-care! Self-care doesn’t have to cost any money!! Later this month, I’ll be sharing totally free forms of self-care so we can bust that myth right there!

💭Thought – I can’t practice self-care, I’m busy and don’t have an hour every day! 🧞‍♀️MYTH! Self-care can be effective in small doses! Just five minutes here or there is all it takes. Plus, there are things that you can work into your day that won’t cost any time, but will help you fee better overall — like drinking plenty of water!

💭Thought – I can’t practice self-care, I have a family and they need to be my priority! 🧞‍♀️MYTH! Well, yes, your children should obviously be a priority, but taking care of yourself doesn’t mean that you aren’t taking care of your loved ones. Remember that loving yourself sets a great example for others; if you’re relaxed, you’ll have more patience for others; and honestly, you can’t take care of others if you’re unhealthy or unwell, so check in with yourself to make sure that you’re doing okay. Like they always say on the airplane safety reminders: put your own oxygen mask on before helping others, it’s the same thing here.

Gratitude

We often think of gratitude as saying thank you to others for gifts received and favors born unto us. However, it’s so much more! Gratitude, to me, means seeing the positive side of things, being thankful to others, and appreciative of their efforts, but it also means checking in with the universe, thankful for the people that we have in our lives, to have the opportunities that we have. It’s such a smaller concept than self-care is, seemingly, but can have such a profound impact on your life.

When I think of gratitude, I’m brought back to the KonMarie method for tidying up. In the book, Marie Kondo says to say thank you to your possession for the purpose it served, for bringing you joy in the past, and then let it go. It honestly made it easier for me to tidy up, I no longer felt the loss like I was giving away something, but happy at the item for what it brought in the past. This is how I approach gratitude generally now, I think of the good that a person or item or memory has brought to me and am thankful for that moment.

Be sure to follow along with #SIVSelfCare all November-long!